Expectations VS Reality & How I Basically Ruined My October

5:58 pm | |

Ahhhh, expectations. They can be good if they are low enough so that you can handle the risk but they can be destructive if they are all that you’re thinking about.

Let me tell you why my October was a painful one.

For what is supposed to be my favourite month, I had a list of expectations.

  • Getting bigger numbers on the blog
  • Having the perfect Halloween
  • Growing my social media presence
  • Waking up before 7 am

And that’s pretty much it, unless I’ve forgot some stuff.

So anyways, I was expecting quite a bit of stuff and obviously, some did not work out the way I wanted.

For example, I never once woke up before 7 am this month. Probably due to the fact that I would always go to bed around 1 or 2 am and would end up wake up at 9 am (which is a healthy 7 hours of sleep but I expected myself to have some superhero powers and to get the same energy with only 5 hours sleep). So, this would affect my mental health because I just expect so much of me and would let myself down everyday almost. 

So, that sucked.

Secondly for my social media growth, I maybe didn’t do enough or I maybe wasn’t using the right tools to engage with people online – who knows, who cares. I was so sure that this would help with the growth on my blog but it didn’t!

Finally, with Halloween I went to two different parties, one that I blogged about – and another one on the actual night of Halloween. So, the first one you already know how it went down. With the second though, I had some pretty high expectations for it (because it was the night of Halloween and of course it had to be perfect, right?) and of course it kinda sucked.

The part that sucked wasn’t my friends or the party itself but it was the fact that the club was overcrowded, I barely could dance and finally had to wait one hour to get my coat.

The only thing in the list I mentioned earlier that wasn’t ruined due to my expectations was the blog. Well, honestly – at first I was a little depressed because I would also see the daily stats, but then I looked up the monthly stats and guess what? The views for October twice as big as the previous month and it was my biggest month on the blog so far! Twice the number of views and twice the number of visitors – this made me very happy. Of course, all this was due to the fact that I wrote twice as much also but it shows that I’ve been working quite a bit and I’m starting to understand the pace that I want to keep on working with and most likely will do more!

So, finally – October wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad. All these expectations strongly negatively affected my mental health but overall I think it was a positive pain because I think it made me grow a lot. I mean, just like Alessia Cara says, growing pains right?

What I’ve learned overall this month is to enjoy every day – or try at least – and to not beat yourself down if one day doesn’t go accordingly to your “plan”.

One step at a time, ok?

xo, TheModMisfit.

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